vanessarox

end of the world?

2005-11-17T23:51:00.000+08:00

technically, today's my last day of school before the study break before my final examinations.
wow. i almost finished my first semester. it feels like i started not long ago. indeed its not very long ago that i actually started school. time passes sooo quickly.

you read the news everyday and it's so depressing.
terrorism so rampant in every part of the world. i really don't understand what are the purposes of these terrorists. what are they trying to prove? they find it fun and exciting to bomb themselves and innocent lives up just to scare the world? what's wrong with these people? don't they have better things to do like watch tv and go shopping. and better still sit down and reflect on their lives? what's going through their minds? why are they trying to terrorise the world at the expense of their own lives? lives are precious precious. you have only one life, live it! to the fullest. they wanna die then they can die themselves but dont kill the innocent. it's jus not right!
mad cow, SARS, dengue, now bird flu. H5N1 virus, tamiflu vaccine, shortage of it. if an epidemic were to break out it will slow down the entire world's economy and then an economic crisis. and then loss of jobs etc etc
floods, earthquakes, tsunami, hurricane katrina. nature is unleashing its fury.
nothing good's happening around the world. bad news and more bad news. bomb here bomb there, tension between countries, riots in Paris. blah
is the world coming to an end? signs and warnings. heed them.
The very first event that rocked the world. the start of it all. SEPT 11 2001. 9/11 21st century.
Luke 21 v 9-11 reads
9 when you hear of wars and revolutions, do not be frightened. these things must happen first, but the end will not come right away.
10 then he said to them "nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom.
11 there will be great earthquakes, famines and pestilences in various places, and fearful events and great signs from heaven
pure coincidence? heaven knows..

how ironic that we are so absorbed in this little world of ours, complaining bout the littlest things when there are so much more misfourtune and sufferings out there in the world today that far outweighs any of our 'sufferings'. we take too much for granted and we don't realise how blessed we are sometimes, most of the times actually.

my brave macho brother

2005-11-02T00:13:00.000+08:00

shhehh, shhehh, shhehh.
must be raining outside. sound of rain splattering on my window.
shhehh, shhehh, shhehh.
the sound came at weird intervals. but i didnt bother cos i thought it must be the rain. after sometime, to my HORROR, i saw a flying croakroach on my curtains!!
shhehh, shhehh, shhehh.
it was the roach!! i had the aircon on. windows and doors closed. it was stuck in my room!! i ran out of my room and tried to think of a way to get rid of it. plucked up the courage and went to open the windows nearest to where i saw the roach. flipped the curtains.. wasnt there anymore.. hmm.. so i closed back the windows and ASSUMED that it flew out.
i went back to work.. then suddenly shhehh, shhehh, shhehh. PLOP! it fell into my bouquet of flowers at the other end of the window. AHHH! i screamed and ran out of the rm.
bro was watching tv, so i politely asked him if he would be brave enough to help me get rid of a flying roach in my room. oh, and my brave, macho bro rolled up some newpapers and went into my room. i told him where the roach was, he asked me to open the window. i did, and held the curtains up. so i was like bout 1 m away frm him and the roach. tried to stand as far as i could. so my brave macho bro tried to hit it out of the window but it flew further and further into my room while i continued with my bouts of screaming. then my brave macho bro told me to get the insecticide and i gladly ran out of my room to get it. by the time i came back he got it out of my room into the toilet. so i passed him the insecticide then ran into my room and closed the door. after a few mins i peaked out of the room and asked if it was dead. then my brave macho bro said it wont fly into my room anymore. so i BRAVELY came out and saw the roach struggling while my bro held it with the newspaper and threw it out of the window. PHEW! what a BRAVE MACHO BRO i have.. =)
i used to wake my parents or my grandma or my maid up to get rid of irritating insects for me, sometimes unintentionally with my screaming. like beetles and roaches. I FEAR FLYING ROACHES! but now i know i got someone else to depend on..
my BRAVE MACHO BROTHER.

'happy' halloween!

2005-10-31T23:28:00.000+08:00

so much for celebrating halloween. all the talk bout going to party and dressing up for the past week. haha, and i'm like home! when everyone else is out partying =(
talked the whole of last night of what to wear, aloy wanted to go as suicide school kid, smear blood and wear barker uniform, tried to convince me to go in my sa uniform. over my dead body. i wanted to dress up as a witch. asked dionne and discussed on how to make it more convincing. put cotton wool as spiderwebs la, wear spider earrings.. haha. even thought of whether i should bring a broomstick. then paint my nails black, wear black eyeliner blah blah..
rushed off after school today with my friend shan jing. she wanted to go spotlight at ps to buy cloth so that she can use it as a cloak. she planned to be a pirate. so off i went trying to look for my witch hat. spotlight dun sell, but they sold like this face mask, like phantom of opera those kind. so i thought of dressing up as if i'm going to a masquerade ball, wear the mask and then bring a nice fan. but time was short, no fan, no pretty dress. skip. then we found cheap plastic tiaras. i've always wanted to wear a tiara. but tiara means dress up as princess? so cheesy. skip. previously some classmate of mine gave us the idea that we could go as birthday girls. jus wear party hat then carry a cake with a candle on top then bring some party poopers or balloons. not a bad idea. cheap and interestingly simple. haha. but was afraid it was too simple then they refuse us free entry. other things we came up with were little red riding hood jus drape over a red cloth and bring a fruit basket. and bubble girl (whatever that was suppose to mean. got inspired by the bubbles they were selling at toys r us), even talked bout how someone dressed up as a piece of wasabi and even bout me dressing up as sardines.hah. and btw, toys 'r' us dont sell halloween stuff loh, couldnt find any witch hat. so i gave up the idea of dressing up.
by the end of the day, after not being able to find appropriate costume. i was like exhausted already, no mood to party. zouk long queue, chinablack sucks.. blah.
darren's at newsroom bar, but i wasnt in the mood to club anymore so i didnt go. did think of going to cb tho' cos all my friends were there. but i bet darren will be unhappy.. so i decided to stay home. so guai right. sheesh.
boyfriends.....(roll eyeballs)
but the fun part was just talking bout dressing up tho i didnt get to do any of it in the end. next yr we must all dress up and go for halloween party k?! must! it's gonna be fun! trust me.

it takes this much to smile

2005-10-31T01:58:00.000+08:00

i've been rather moody lately.
if there's such a disease called addicted to shopping then i think i am..
maybe i need to go for councelling.. i cant seem to stop shopping and spending UNNECESSARY $molah$!
like everytime i walk past a shop i cant resist not going into it. worst is when i come out with something. buying on impluse. cheap buy, nice buy. especially when i'm not in a very good mood, i do alot of impluse buying. it makes me feel better. haha, maybe i'm decieving myself. but i mean it does make me feel happier..
oh, and i finally went to get my ears peirced. after so long. darren peirced his ear too. i seem to find the pain very exciting. i know it sounds a little sick but it's quite intriguing. like another avenue of letting go. i've watched a documentary which says tt some ppl find the pain of tatooing and peircing enjoyable, and it can be addictive so they end up with alot of body peircings and a full body tatoo. hah, but i dun think i'll reach that stage la.. if not i think i seriously need councelling.
another thing that cheers me up when i'm not in a good mood is chocolates. i looovvee eating chocolates. it makes me happy. plus it does help release endorphines so maybe tt's why i feel happy. i bought like some premium chocolates. premium's the brand. its those gourmet chocs. like cost me bout 80 cents a piece. bought truffles cos wanted to try.. brought it home, put it on my table.. next day it all melted.. damn damn sad la!! so i ended up licking the melted mash of brown stuff. at least i dun need councelling if i eat too much chocs. i probably need to visit slimming centres or take slimming pills. which darren says i need to do now.. damn mean right?
another thing that can take away my moodiness is seeing darren. awww.. am i being too mushy. yah but it somehow does la.. sometimes..=P

the case of the missing driving instructor

2005-10-19T01:48:00.000+08:00

my driving instruuctor, uncle choo we call him has gone missing. like seriously missing! i'm not kidding..
was suppose to have driving lesson with him last thurs at 1030am. bukit gombak mrt station carpark as usual. but he didnt turn up. quite unlike him cos he's usually puntual. so i gave him time grace. waited for another half an hr but no sight of him. called his hp but "the singtel mobile customer you have reached is not available". weird.
didnt want to wait any longer so i left and sent him a msg telling him i left and to call me once he read the msg. and so he didnt contact me that day. i called him again several times over a few days but same thing. no response.
curious, i asked my father to ask this church member, aunty alicia who introduced me this driving instructor if there is any other way to contact him. but she couldnt contact him either. she said she will try to find out thru some sources any information bout him.
and so the search began. then this afternoon, my father msged me and told me uncle choo was detained in clementi police station, got something to do with his illness. hmm..ok..then. i was thinking, how come detained for so long, didnt his family bail him out or something?
sometime later, i recieved another sms frm my dad, saying tt he is dead.. and the police are trying to contact his family. ooooo... bad. scary.
apparently the first source of info was wrong. dunno where my dad got it frm. but ya, the police called aunty alicia cos her hp num was in his hp.(so was mine actually, why they din call me?) and told her that they found his body or something. scary hoh.
i suspect he got murdered. damn scary la!! i'm a little freaked.

and so i think i got to change to another driving instructor.. which will be my 3rd... sian.

dreamnt of you

2005-10-18T23:21:00.000+08:00

i had like a really weird dream last night. i dreamt that luana, tab and i went to steal a keyboard. as in those piano keyboards kind? not the computer keyboard. ya. i really wonder why we wanted the keyboard. and why did we have to go steal it?
as far as i can remember, it started with luana and i waiting at the ground floor of this building for the lift. while we were waiting, the people there gave us suspicious looks. because we were bout the only young people there. the people that enter the buildings were really old. as in the senior citizens, grandparents.. And so.. this building was like singapore casket. its were all the people put their dead relatives for ppl to come visit. erm.. wakes they call it. digress abit.. have you ever wondered why they call wakes 'wakes' when the person is actually sleeping as in dead? ya, anyway.it was a rather scary place. and then again, why only old people frequent it? hmm..
and so, lu and i managed to take the lift up to some floor. the room we were heading to was in the centre of the entire level. the level is such that the rooms are in a circle and theres a room in the middle.. get the idea? so inorder to get to the middle room we had to pass thru several rooms. and it was really scary. one room we pass before going into the middle was this room with the corpse of a mother carrying a new born baby, sitting up! both dead. hah, weird corpses they have there.
as we enter the middle room it was a total change of setting. there was this piano teacher giving piano lessons to some kid and infront of them was this big storeroom. the wall of this storeroom was made of glass. so like can see everything inside. and suddenly tab appeared. dunno from where. but anyway, we wanted to steal the keyboard. so luana cleverly opened the glass door and everything behind it fell out. crash! made alot of noise and we were suppose to be discreet. we were gonna steal something remember? the piano teacher glared at us and we apologised. she went back to teaching and apparently was so absorbed she didnt really notice we were up to something weird. like glass infront of her, can see everything but she didnt. so lu and tab quickly sneaked in and stole the keyboard and ran out of the room. while i carefully arranged the fallen out things back on to the shelves trying to not make any noise. while i was going to close the glass door and prepare to run out of the room, the piano teacher's head slowly turned towards my direction...
and then i WOKE UP! hahaha.. anti climax hoh.. i really wanted to know if we actually escaped..

they say dreams mean something. they either tell the future or is something tt you actually desire. hah, what can this dream mean?

and when sch starts, so does all the complaining..

2005-09-23T02:49:00.000+08:00

maybe its time to revive my blog again. seeing how time flies it's really scary. so many birthdays, everybody's growing older. 19 now.. my last TEENage yr!
school has started. before i know it, it's the end of my 5th week in sch. i still feel like i'm jus entered sch not long ago. and indeed i've jus entered sch not long ago. common it;s only week 5. and lemme see what have i already done in sch. i already had like 2 presentations in week 3, handed in 1 assignment, 1 test, lots of project work piling and piling. feel so lost in class, struggling to stay afloat. BGS, management accounting, biz law. Creative thinking is ironically the most boring lesson yet, analytical skills is is is jus so weird!
and sch's not exactly as hyped as it turns out to be. tho' my timetable looks so slack, 4 day week, fridays off.. but i dun seem to have much time for anything. project meetings and more project meetings.
who's the one who told me uni gonna be relaxed and damn slack.. slap tt person. everybody's mugging already! quite stressful actually..
my dad got me an ibook for sch.. and man! macqintosh sucks...... big time. having so much trouble with it. feel like a computer idiot times a hundred. like i have not been a computer idiot enough. this i making me feel much worse. and i go crazy and berserk when technology fails on me! i hate it! first cannot connect to internet cos wrong modem, then cannot log on to wireless cos no air port card, then cannot connect the printer.. got air port card already cannot configure to the sch system cos the version too dinosaur. now got to upgrade it. so much trouble.
gosh! vanessa, why are you complaining! you got an ibook! an ibook! but G3 la.. kinda dinosaur... but still, an ibook! lucky pig, be appreciative!
but i really ever thought of selling it away to get a mirosoft. my dad gonna murder me.
oh, and i've started driving lessons again.. changed instructor. the previous one really sucked bad... like in one hr for this instructor, i learnt all tt i learnt and more than in the 3 lessons i had with the previous. tt bad! uh huh!
booked my test date too, 10 march 2006! yah long way more i know. i'm gonna get my license!

Period

2005-07-06T13:00:00.000+08:00

the worst things tt can happen when a girl's bleeding.
1. waking up and finding tt you stained ur bed
2. the toilet flush doesn't work
3. there's no toilet paper
4. you've ran out of panadol menstrual pills
5. you've ran out of heavy flow pads
6. breakouts!
7. you forgot to bring out an extra pad when you're on a date
8. you're in camp (imagine obs!)
9. you're at a beach resort but you dunno how to put on tampons
10. you've to walk long long distances
11. when you're on the catwalk, "my legs crisscross.. i'm afraid my pad will bunch up and cause leaks"

Bimbos with a capital B!

2005-07-01T03:01:00.000+08:00

in fairfield's humanities rm, looking at the picture of the Berlin wall.
tab: i think the Berlin wall's in china. i think last time it was called the Berlin wall then they changed the name to Great Wall of China.

=====================
at tangos, after a some drinks..
van: my brother's a liverFool Pan.

=====================
after basic theory test at BBDC
tab: oh shit. i got the qn on the sign of the expressway wrong. i put the answer as overhead bridge.

=====================
luana pointing at the photo of Opra Winfrey.
lu: oh oh! i know who's tt! don't tell me! ah! it's Naomi Campbell!

=====================
a picture of Yusof Ishak flashed across the screen during a presentation in RI
lu: oh, president Nathan.

======================
gossiping abt a guy called eugene who was standing only a few metres away.
van: let me ask Sylvia (who was standing further away than eugene was) if eugene is really tt popular.
van(turned ard and shouted very loudly): EUGENE!

======================

van: what's the sex of the tiger in tiger beer?
xiang: it's a female.
van: why?
xiang: cos tigers are females and the males are lions!
*pengz*

Open House 2005

2005-06-20T16:34:00.000+08:00

this year's open hse was different. we were to put up a choral concert instead of the usual skits. inbetween songs, testimonials by several of the youths were given.

gruelling rehearsals

2005-06-20T16:32:00.000+08:00

stretching exercise
it's suppose to help up sing better frm our diaphragms.

2005-06-20T16:31:00.000+08:00

prayer before choral concert

2005-06-20T16:30:00.000+08:00

presenting the choir
and it's 2 emcees

2005-06-20T16:29:00.000+08:00

happy-it's-over faces
"it is finished"

2005-06-20T16:28:00.000+08:00

the sopranos
yah, i'm a soprano.. you can tell frm the way i laugh and scream.

2005-06-20T16:27:00.000+08:00

family
my sis was an usher, my bro did backstage. proud parents.
(my sis is much taller than me.. she bended her knees. so did i.. a little= i'm not shorter than my mom!)

2005-06-20T16:26:00.000+08:00

ppl who irritate the shit of me

thank you all who made this open hse a success

encounters

2005-06-18T11:31:00.000+08:00

was on my way home today, boarded the train, across me was this guy in green. i kinda noticed him because i was like "oh my gosh, i think he's skinner than me!"
and so i had to change train at raffles.. when we were walking across the platform he started to walk almost towards me.. i stop he stop i walk forward he walk forward. for a while i thought he was following me.. it was kinda strange so then i walked backwards. alright, so now he's diagonally in front of me and he couldn't stop fidgitting. he kept turning and moving ard, and then he started walking towards me. i thought he wanted to ask for directions.. "hi my name's eric, can i get to know you?"
heh! like wth.. he's skin so thick ah.. i was alone and he was alone and he jus approached me like tt? and eric? eww, i dun like tt name.. and he's like super fair and he's soo not good looking.. i went sorry sorry, no thanks. and then there was this really awful awkward silence.. and he asked if i was on my way home and i said yes then i totally slash ignore him. stupid idiot didn't walk away.. stood next to me. this time really still. he din fidgit anymore. so weird!! like so the both of us jus stood there in silence until the train came. excruciating.. but at least after tt he's got some common sense to board at another door.

i had another encounter not too long ago. this week. was walking home through jurong point. suddenly this man came towards me. he's like old! the tiko peh age.. wearing what those old man normally wear to casinos.. like those act like rich but actually heavily in debt kind. wah, but he quite hip, listening probably to some techno music on his headphones. i thought he wanted to ask for directions. then he started talking to me in half english half chinese, saying something like hey do you go to the disco, the ladies night? i jus stared back at him in shock. NO! then i jus walked off. he tried calling me back but i din dare turn ard. i was damn scared he'll follow me la. but he didn't.
PHEW!

wouldn't it be nice if i could drive..

2005-06-16T01:31:00.000+08:00

i had my very first driving lesson today. i paid for a one and a half hr lesson but got a one hr lesson. spent half an hr queueing for my PDL and i still had to pay the instructor for the lesson cos i already made the appointment. i feel cheated cos he din tell me it worked tt way. but oh well, its my fault.. i was suppose to go there earlier to get the PDL but i was late. why? i think cos i hang out with the girls too much. they're NEVER on time. say like we're suppose to meet at 6pm, you'll be very early if you reach there at say 6.30. ppl will start arriving only at least one hr after the appointed time. influenced. it's becoming frm bad to worse..

anyways, i kinda enjoyed my first lesson. driving's fun.. tho' i hate the clutch. i actually moved the car! i stalled twice tho. not too bad for starters i guess. but my instructor speaks to me in chi can.. i really hope we won't have any communication breakdown. but lucky he doesn't look as tiko as those instructors at bbdc. he's kinda slacker-ish. but i dun really care as long as i pass.
i want so badly to pass on the first attempt.
so, i'll be looking forward to the day i get my license.

The Intruder

2005-06-08T00:36:00.000+08:00

she walks funny, she talks funny and has the weirdest dress sense
she has idiosyncratic habits and loves to spy on ppl. or rather, intrude into their little lives.

2005-06-08T00:35:00.000+08:00

she lives in the closet on a cruise ship
she comes out at 12 midnight to disturb the residents.

2005-06-08T00:34:00.000+08:00

poor things are those who live in the room which closet she lives in..

she gloats over weilin's sadness

2005-06-08T00:33:00.001+08:00

she disturbs vanessa's tv time

2005-06-08T00:33:00.000+08:00

she intrudes into dionne's privacy

2005-06-08T00:32:00.000+08:00

and then she retreats back to her sactuary again

money issues

2005-06-02T00:25:00.000+08:00

if i were to not go to zouk every fri for a month, i would save, say an avg of 100 bucks(!!!) a mth. tt is if i were to go in before 10pm so i'll pay only 15 bucks for entry and probably 10 bucks for the cab fare home, tt is if i were to share.
so now i know where all my money went..
spent 300 bucks on shopping in a day. come on, it's the great singapore sale! it was a good reap, considering tt i bought alot of clothes.
300 bucks. tt's like going to zouk every fri for 3 mths. i spent it all in a day.
but i think i gained and enjoyed myself more in tt one day alone than i will at zouk on 12 fridays added up together.
but then again, what's the point in spending 300 bucks on clothes if you can't go to zouk on fridays to show it off. haha!

Warning: there are other ways and places to show ur clothes off, not jus as zouk. pls dun go to zouk on fridays jus to show ur clothes off (you can go on weds too!).

23 May

2005-05-23T21:00:00.000+08:00

23 may 1999. ard 12:30 pm. Pasir Panjang Church Of Christ auditorium's baptism pool. Angels in heaven rejoicing. i confessed to the world tt i believed in the Lord Jesus Christ, made a personal commitment to serve him all my life and was baptised. tt makes me a whopping 6 years old!
we were doing this video series in bible class. i was watching this part where Peter was preaching to the crowd after Jesus' resurrection. 'those who accepted his message were baptized, and abt 3 thousand were added to their number tt day.' acts 2:41 (NIV)
it suddenly occured to me tt these ppl believed and committed themselves immediately after they had heard the msg. so what's actually holding me back. i had used to want to finish reading the bible before i get baptised. but God told me i should not wait any longer.

i wouldn't say my spiritual life have been smooth sailing these 6 years. much much much much more downs than ups. but i've witnessed countless miracles tt He has done in my life. He's done so much for me, much more than i deserve.
if there's one thing i'll never give up, it'll be my faith.

plus it's my aunt's birthday and wedding anniversary too. what a special day.

imaginary me

2005-05-23T01:02:00.000+08:00

what's real? are you real? am i real?
what if this whole world is just an illusion? and everybody else is jus a figment of your imagination?
i remembered we had a discussion bout this back in secondary four in the classroom. andy made this comment saying what if the whole world is jus a plot, a story and the only real thing is himself and everybody else in it are jus actors, and tt we're all putting on a facade.
i sometimes question why i feel what i feel and why i can only feel myself and why am i this being, and i can only be and feel this body tt i am in. why i can't 'put myself in someone else's shoes' in tt sense. ok, maybe this is not making any sense. but ya you know what i mean.
so schizophrenia must be a scary thing. seeing things tt are not even there..
A Beautiful Mind. i love tt show. i think it's the best show i've ever watched.

"it is only in the mathematical equations of love can you find logical reason." - John Nash.

Be good to your body

2005-05-16T00:08:00.000+08:00

A day in the life of ur body:

9 - 11pm : is the time for eliminating unnecessary/toxic chemicals(de-toxification) from the antibody system (lymph nodes).This time duration should be spent by relaxing or listening to music.

11pm - 1am : is the de-toxification process in the liver, and ideally should be done in a deep sleep state.

1 - 3am : de-toxification process in the gall, also ideally done in a deep sleep state.

3 - 5am : de-toxification in the lungs. Therefore there will sometimes be severe cough for cough sufferers during this time. Since the de-toxification process had reached the respiratory tract, there is no need to take cough medicine so as not to interfere with toxin removal process.

5 - 7am : de-toxification in the colon, you should empty your bowel.

7 - 9am : absorption of nutrients in the small intestine, you should be having breakfast at this time. Breakfast should be earlier, before 6:30am, for those who are sick. Breakfast before 7:30am is very beneficial to those wanting to stay fit. Those who always skip breakfast, they should change their habits. it is better to eat breakfast late at 9 - 10am rather than having no meal at all.

A day in vanessa's life:

9 - 11pm : spent in front of the television set, constantly munching on tidbits/ having dinner

11 - 1am : enjoying my 1 hr bathtime / infront of the computer/ watching tv on thurs nights/ queueing up at zouk on wed nights

1 - 3am : still in front of the computer/ dancing, drinking and inhaling smoke

3 - 5am : deep sleep

5 - 7am : having sweet dreams

7 - 12pm : still sleeping..

oppsy daisy, i might jus die early..

drama mama

2005-05-14T00:23:00.000+08:00

i'm turing to sappy korean vcds to kill my boredom. tt bad. yah.
my grandma is so into this show called stairway to heaven. she watched the whole entire show which consists of 20 episodes twice! she has nothing better to do also. apparently, she says it's the best drama show she's watched so far. even better than winter sonata. she watched like 20 over of this kinda drama serials. so i think i can trust her judgement. i've only watched one other which was the mvp qingren ages ago when i was say in J1?
i was kinda cynical abt it at first but i had nothing else to do and my grandma was hogging the tv and there isn't any nice shows to watch on tv anyway considering the time i wake up, like maybe only days of our lives and chinese opera shows which are so not interesting at all plus i dun have cable so makes tv worse. and so it all started when i sat down in front of the tv with her eating my breakfast one day and i was hooked. not exactly hooked la, like really interested to find out what happens next.
tt's how these serials thrive. they make it so drama you wanna find out more. they hinge on the fact tt human beings are natural busybodies. aren't we? i guess it's this innate reaction to search for something you can relate to. or either tt, we're always searching for something we can criticise or sympathise with, to gloat over or to gossip abt. we're little inquisitive beings who can't wait to stick our heads and ears and butt into someone else's life, even when ours is in a mess.
oh and i bet one of the necessary requirements for koreans to become actors is tt they must be able to cry, be it male or female. they cry in almost every scene! happy they cry, sad they cry, touched they cry. they cry over the littlest things. like get a life.. it's really super drama. plus japanese and koreans have like huge extreme unnatural reactions it gets kinda irritating and superficial at times. at first it felt really corny, but once i got into it i started crying along with them too. they're really good at making you feel sorry and sad for them.
my grandma din like the ending. cos the female lead died. she wanted the typical happily ever after ending. but in life, there's no such thing as a happily ever after. everybody dies. jus tt they included the dying part in the show.
happily ever after happens only after you die.

eyecandies

2005-05-10T00:24:00.000+08:00

i've nothing better to do in life now till i'm starting to check guys out all the time.
ask me where to find good looking guys and i can tell you a few places to start with.

the guys working at newurbanmale's really cute.. not jus one or 2 but almost all of them are rather good looking and they've got like good bods. but rumours has it tt some of them are gays. but i refuse to believe. cos they're too cute to be gays. or issit true tt the good guys are really either married, attached or gays. maybe it is. then single girls like me have a reason to weep.

go to beach parties! ooooo.. it's a feast for the eyes. seriously.. hunky dorys shaking to house and techno. nvm the music, the guys there are enuh to make ur day. one look and you'll know they're models. it's those tt you can only stand one side, stare and drool but can never get kind. but it's ok.. it's pleasent to the eyes and it makes me happy.

fancy groving to kickass music and feeding ur eyes with candies? most of the male species tt patron zouk on wed and fri nights are above the average looking lot. i dunno bout the other nights cos i only go on wed and fri. but tt's good enough. but beware. most of the guys there let their balls do the talking, shoving their pee wees ard into girls' asses. most of them are asses anyway, think tt they look good so they can do anything they want. worst still some look totally gross but their skin damn thick. like look urself in the mirror first. good guys dun come easy. not in clubs anyway. never trust any guy you meet in the club, they always have ill intentions.

never mind if the beaches at sentosa are manmade. hey! sun, sand and sea and lotsa hunky dorys! what more can you ask for. hot bods playing volleyball and frisbeee.. the guys playing frisbee look much better than those playing volleyball.. haha. jus go there clad in bikinis and hope some really cute group of guys pick you up to play volleyball with them. or even better, frisbee... =)

think jurong point is too far and ulu, you're wrong girl. it's worth the trip. army boys dressed smart in black and white. cream of the crop, OCS. go there sat and see the whole hoard of them book out. no guarantees tt they all look good but i mean how bad can it get. they're richer too anyway. but maybe a little desperate? i like the whole black plastic frame spectacles thingy going on. though it makes some of them look kinda dorky, but in an attractive kind of way i guess. to me at least..

if all these are still not good enough for you, then i think you'll remain single ur entire life. maybe you should jus go watch kingdom of heaven and drool over orlando bloom..

things vanessa wants to tell you bout thailand

2005-05-01T01:22:00.000+08:00

Did you know tt..
* ALL sch uniforms in thailand only come in black and white. white top and black bottom. the only way to differentiate between the different schs is frm their badges and the different styles of the uniform. even university students have to wear uniform. so sad. but good also la, dun have to rack their brains on what to wear everyday.
* the GB girls there march to commands given in english. like turn left, turn right.. so much easier. we have to do in it malay. why must commands be given in a different language frm the ones you speak? can you imagine the long commands given in english. quirky.
* the taxi drivers there earn 100 to 300 baht a day. tt is like S$4.20 to S$12.60 after working for 12 to 13 hrs. tt's madness. i earn tt in like an hr or 2 in Aviva. so be kinder to them next time. dun bargain too much. we save a few cents or dollars but to them is alot.
* if you think tt singapore is hot, think again. the hottest temp in s'pore is like 35 degress. the hottest temp in bangkok can go up to 42 degrees. tt's like higher than ur body temp man! it's like having high fever everyday.
* the freaking bus exhaust pipe is at the same level as ur face when you take a tuk tuk. like imagine the fumes and dirt and dust. can kill. the dust mask they wear cannot even filter 1% of the poisonous vapours. and then you're stuck in the jam and the weather is like the hottest ever. you jus wish you are in a taxi. to think i thought taking a tuk tuk would be quite fun.
* the ciggerettes there cost S$2.50. like seriously smoke till you die.
* Singa, thailand's local beer is one of Asia's best brew.
* the sizes of clothes there are super small.. made for them to wear only. cos thai ppl come in small size. why do cute guys come in small packages? i mean generally.. sad huh. cos God is a fair God see.
* i know how to write 1, 2, 3, 4 in thai! it's a good start. i can speak a little too. enuh for me to do my shopping.
me : " tou rai?" (how much?)
shopkeeper : (blabberblabber)
me : "mai kao zai" (i dun understand)
haha. like jus ask 'how much' in english, save all the trouble. act clever. like tabitha, in the end embarrass urself only. but it's ok, chan rat koon (i love you).
* the freaking tuk tuk driver said i looked thai! i hope tt's a compliment.. and the lady shop keeper thought i was my father's wife! how much worse can comments get. i thought someone saying i look 24 yrs old is bad enuh.
* bangkok is the ultimate shopping paradise. seriously, shop till you drop. though most of the shops there sell the same things, you still somehow can find something to buy. amazing. tt's why they call it amazingly thailand!

Let's play: Whose eye's whose?

2005-04-25T00:47:00.000+08:00

Contest is open to ppl of all ages.
Instructions:

below are pictures of 5 beautiful babes and 5 different set of eyes. match the eyes accordingly.

THE CANDIDATES

dionne

2005-04-25T00:46:00.000+08:00

tabitha

2005-04-25T00:45:00.000+08:00

vanessa

2005-04-25T00:44:00.000+08:00

robyn

2005-04-25T00:43:00.001+08:00

weilin

2005-04-25T00:41:00.002+08:00

eye no. 2

2005-04-25T00:41:00.000+08:00

THE EYES

eye no. 1

2005-04-25T00:40:00.000+08:00

eye no. 3

2005-04-25T00:39:00.000+08:00

eye no. 4

2005-04-25T00:38:00.000+08:00

eye no. 5

So start matching the eyes! put them where they belong..
Stand to win attractive prizes. take part today!
Send your answers to the comments section below.
Winners will be notified by post!

highlight of the week

2005-04-23T01:04:00.000+08:00

now tt today's my last day of work, hooray! i'm gonna go back to my slacking lifestyle all over again, and then slowly watch my bank account run dry..
since today's my last day of work, i was out yesterday or rather this morning till 3.30am. woke up at 7.30am and amazingly managed to pull thru the day.. considering i still worked overtime, and went for dinner with my girlfriends, 6 of us ate the share of 8 ppl, and i'm still online now while i have to wake up at 6am tmr. i'm good..
so what was i doing last night till 3 am? eating, drinking, slacking and playing truth or dare. erm, rather educational, hilarious and entertaining. stupid things ppl do when they're a little high. running and sauntering along holland in their boxes, licking nipples, marching, doing the singapore work out, jumping down an entire flight of stairs.. and not forgetting the deepest secrets.
it was a double dare. holy macaroni. did something i could never ever thought or imagine i would ever do in my entire life. hmm, let's see.. i had to like kiss, oh no wait, french! my bestfriend. fart! mark's big bright idea. it wasnt as bad i thought it would be. but i'm damn straight alright. like seriously, why do guys get hot on lesbian action..

one entire week of holidaying for me. shopping and eating and slacking and jus enjoying life. hopefully i'll be working out too. i really need to lose some weight. it's becoming an issue. not good at all..
i'm itching to club. when i come back frm bangkok, oooo, all hell break lose.

girls jus wanna have fun

2005-04-20T00:18:00.000+08:00

all excited for the beach

2005-04-20T00:17:00.000+08:00

protecter of our soles

2005-04-20T00:16:00.001+08:00

hotbods

2005-04-20T00:16:00.000+08:00

erm, magnificent view!?

2005-04-20T00:13:00.000+08:00

syncro swimming

2005-04-20T00:07:00.000+08:00

roxy ad

2005-04-20T00:05:00.000+08:00

a day at siloso beach

after all the fun, laughter, sand, sun, sea, volleyball, tanning, spastic things tt happened tt wonderful saturday at the beach, i'm feeling all the after effects. me whole entire body is aching from the volleyball and i'm itching all over. i really need to stop scratching. i'm like burnt, my skin's red and it's itching! i really hope i dun peel.
God blessed us with the best weather tt day, sunny when we were tanning and cloudy when we were playing. we girls need to do this more often. release ourselves of all the stress and boredom and pent up emotions and mundane lives.
we went bonkers tt day. all the crazy things we did, the jumping photos, magnifying our tan by dipping in the water, slapping lots of sun block on our faces, tried playing volleyball rather unprofessionally (anybody who saw us played wouldn't exactly wanna join us), doing tango and syncro swimming in the sea, tried playing chop-chilli-chop in the water, compete in running out of the water the fastest, doing the baywatch thing where the girls walk out of the sea (it was an absolute failure), spastically taking pictures in video mode till the cam's batt ran out.
the videos and pictures were priceless. absolutely priceless. sweet girls..

when i'm PISSED...

2005-04-14T00:03:00.000+08:00

dun look at me like tt you stranger, cos it makes me wanna gorge ur eyes out. if you're cute or really good looking, maybe i wont mind. but if i'm pissed off enough, i'll still wanna gorge ur eyes out. try looking at me frm head to toe the toe to head and i'll make sure you wont live to see another day, meaning i'll gorge ur eyes out plus like maybe make you eat the balls.
dun take ur own freaking sweet time to walk infront of me, i'll wanna step on you and make you fall, and crush you like a cockroach. like hear me stomping and take the hint and move aside slow pok. or i wont give you any face and i'll barge my way through. look at my pissed off face and jus step aside man.
dun crack any jokes with me cos i wont find anything so funny. it'll be like you're so darn lame i cant bring myself to laugh. crack some more jokes and i'll crack ur legs so tt you'll be really lame.
dun talk to me cos i cant be bothered to reply you and talk some more and i'll stuff char siew bao down ur throat and make you choke.
dun irritate me. cos it'll make me wanna scream into ur face and glare at you and do everything tt's possible to make you piss in ur pants jus looking at my pissed off face.

purpose driven life?

2005-04-10T22:54:00.000+08:00

hmm.. well, apparently, i've been accepted into smu! i dunno if tt's good or bad.. i dun really feel extremely delighted or some.
"Congratulations! You have been offered a place at SMU. This is subject to confirmation by SMU to you in the form of an official SMU offer letter."
i still have to wait for the confirmation letter. i do hope it comes.. i mean, they are soo efficient?! i thought the applications are not even closed yet. so maybe i shant hold my hopes too high.
went for the smu interview which i wouldn't really consider an interview. more like.. i dunno what. but it's some discussion thing. read 2 passages and then go in and discuss. i am soo blessed i had shu with me. it turned out quite fun actually. maybe cos one of the interviewer told me i got a nice name and the other one was kinda cute. he's like vietnamese and though we couldnt really make up what he was trying to say half the time, he's cute. before tt we were walking ard and overheard "oh, they're here for the interview". like duh..ok.. you need not report tt.. i know we look like gong gong newbies who dunno the way ard smu but not so harsh pls.
anyways, vanessa's been wondering what she's doing with her life. it's jus going to work, go home sleep watch tv then going to work again. and work's really really starting to kill her real bad. it makes her life even more meaningless. she daydreams a hell lot and dreams a hell lot at night too. but nothing bad, all bout her friends and ppl ard her. maybe she's deprived of their company tt's why she's been having such dreams.
she misses tab who used to work with her, and remembers those stupid times in the office where they would jus chat to pass time and laugh at little silly things like other ppl's names and occupations. she remembers those times where they will work overtime and on the way to the mrt they will walk pass lao pa sat and the hawkers selling satay will come up to them and say "you look so beuutifoo today, you wanna buy my satay?". and it'll remind them of the time when they were at bangkok and this man outside the hotel came up to then and said " so preetti... tuk tuk?" and it makes her wonder why ppl are so shallow.
so vanessa's gonna start on a purpose driven life. she's gonna try very hard to read the book by Rick Warren. it's gonna require alot of discipline. but she's gonna try. also, she has a list of things all nicely and neatly planned out. and so she's praying so hard it'll all work out well.
FIRST : 2 day kelong trip with some of her church friends on the 17 and 18 april. fishing maybe?
SECOND : trip to kuantan with mom, dad and tab. tab's like becoming part of her family. everytime they're going on a trip her father will ask her to ask if thabita (tt's how vanessa's dad spells it) wants to come along. they're excited, vanessa is extremely cos she needs a tan!
THIRD : mom and dad's planning a trip to bangkok again! like vanessa loves bangkok to bits! she thinks the guys there are really cute, and the shopping there is like paradise to her. she's been to bangkok 3 times already and has picked up a little of their language. like her fav phrase is "hong nam yu ti nai?" (translated: where's the toilet?)
FORTH : vanessa's really cool crazy girl gang's planning a 3 day 2 night cruise trip. they've been discussing bout it ever since they were sec 3. suppose to have went after o'levels but their parents think they are too young. then suppose to have went at the beginning of this year but their parents think it wasn't safe cos the tsunami jus hit asia. but they're not gonna care bout what their parents think anymore this time. and they're going to go on a cruise!
FIFTH : vanessa has been pestering her parents to let her learn driving and they finally agreed to sponsor her like only 1 K. but better than nothing eh. she still has to fork out another 1K. her heartaches. tt's alot of money for a small little girl like her. 1K is like her half a yr of shopping money. =(
SIXTH : she wishes there's a sixth. but there ain't one for the moment. she loves travelling so she hopes she could like go to like maybe australia with her friends.
vanessa talks like she's rich doesn't she?

lazy day

2005-04-08T10:55:00.000+08:00

it's friday night and i'm stoning at home. i'm soo bored i'm starting to update my blog again!
i prepared dinner for myself today cos i refused to eat fried rice my maid cooked. made a salad for myself la! what an achievement. though the only cooking i had to do was to boil an egg. but still i mean i did it all by myself! lettuce, tomatoes, egg, raisins, grapes and thousand island dressing, kinda like the leftovers frm the last time tab and i made some salad for ourselves for the very first time, for me at least. it tasted extra good cos i made it myself!=)
eating healthy today cos suppose to detox. 3/4 of the crazy girl gang was over at robyn's place for a bbq last night. expensive bbq i must say.. like each of us paid 20 bucks. so tt means 120 buck worth of food for 6 ppl. imagine the amt of food we had, potato salad, satay, kutupat, corn, stingray, dory, crabs, sausages, marinated chicken, crabsticks, beef, pork and of cos, coke. and we finished most of it amazingly. so imagine how much we gorged ourselves. dionne, tab, luana and i stayed over at robyn's while weilin had to go home cos miss ong had to teach the next day, while steph and eunice were MIA. talked through half the night, over sparkling wine and yogurt, bout the absence of the male species in our lives, and how cute josh hartnett and edison was.. watched some apparently ghostly, scary kinda movie on hbo till i fell asleep halfway.
this actually marks our very first stay over!
slept till like 12pm, lazed ard, ate brunch, left over sausages, watched tv, lazed ard.. watch more tv and lazed somemore. then came home and lazed somemore.

embarrassing moments

2005-02-22T22:45:00.000+08:00

my level of amusement has dropped to ground zero. i laugh or giggle at practically anything tt's not so funny or corny. i dunno if it has anything to do with the boredom at work or the sheer lack of sleep. haven been having enough sleep since i started working.
was out the whole of fri night or rather sat morning. sat at brekos laughing my heart and guts out. egan kept insisting i was drunk. on a bottle of stella. right. i dunno.. i'm jus feeling really giggly these days. to make matters worse, i had only 3 hrs of sleep before going for the SAJC fun fair. it was quite boring. the funnest thing was the little mini viking which was more like a swing. we spent wadeva coupons we had left on tt. but it was surprisingly fun. maybe cos we the sun had burnt our brains. or we were so super tired we jus went mad. was super tired, burnt, dirty and zonked out after tt. but what can stop me frm a shopping spree. dionne and luana din wanna shop with me cos they were so tired. they also only had 3 hrs of sleep. so poor me went shopping alone at jp. oh boy but i sure did have fun. haha.
something really embarrassing happened to me yesterday. tab and i were going home frm work on the mrt train during peak hr. and we were standing reading our story books. at some station this 2 guys came in. not too bad looking. one of them was kinda muscular, tan and stuff. all was well until he started talking and made some weird noise. he had this really funny voice which so totally didnt suit his statue. and tab had to imitate his voice, a little too loudly. and his friend turned to look at her. i wanted to control my laughter but i couldn't and i burst out a fountain of saliva which flew over a semi circle of 1m radius. yup tt powerful. and imagine how many ppl it hit. i was sooooooooo embarrassed i really covered my face with my book. seriously, i was so glad i was holding it lah. i felt my ears turn red and hot. gosh!
ohoh another embarrassing thing happened after the SA fun fair when i was waiting for the bus at habourfront bus stop. Cj gave me a flower balloon during the fair and i placed it in a plastic bag. "pop!" damn loud and i turned and looked ard me to see what was tt sound all abt, only to realised it came frm my own plastic bag. the stem of the flower balloon burst. i guess i must have looked really stupid. plus i was alone. this group of malay girls behind me started laughing really loudly and said something like 'it's urs lah'. and one of them couldnt stop laughing la! i was sooo pissed i felt like going up to her and bursting the rest of the balloon in her ears, or maybe strangle her with it. humph!

ehh.

2005-02-17T00:10:00.000+08:00

it's bout 1215 am and i'm munching on pineapple tarts and kueh bang kit when i'm suppose to be sleeping. and i'm not even suppose to be eating this late. apparently i've to stop eating 4 hrs before i sleep if i dun wanna put on weight. but i cant. worse thing is tt i've been like dropping crumbs into the holes in the keyboard.. and i'm not sure how to take it out. and i need to do it before the ants come. can you pluck out the buttons on the key board?
it's been a boring past few days at work creating insurance policies and sending them out. it's very repetitive work and it drives you crazy. i came across some clients with really corny and weird names. there was a Chee Hong, an Ah Lian, a Ching Ching and a Cheng Chye (sounds like chin chai).. hah. i mean it really makes you wonder what went thru their parents' minds when they gave their children such names. heh.
my mom's gonna bank my ang pow money into an account which i cannot touch. humph! i'm gonna need my pay real soon.

cock-a-doodle-doo

2005-02-12T23:57:00.000+08:00

nian chu yi:
why do rubbish trucks clear rubbish on the first day of the new yr? shouldn't they do it before tt? or do they have to clear rubbish everyday? had some strange encounters. walked out of my block, first thing in the morning the pang of stinky rotten rubbish hit my nostrils. a bad start to this rooster yr.. while waiting for my father to pick us up after visiting a relatives hse, a rubbish truck had to be clearing rubbish nearby. another wave of horrendously smelly rubbish. twice in a day. nvm. stepped out of my father's car when we reached holland for lunch, another rubbish truck clearing rubbish nearby. gosh. spoilt my appetite for lunch. werid huh? 3 times in a day, at totally different locations and totally different times. maybe it's a sign.. i'm gonna have a smelly yr ahead.

nian chu er:
had a hectic day. was out visiting frm 1030am, and din go home till 4am. was at dbl o, ladies night. my first time there and it was not bad.. the crowds' different frm those you find at zouk or chinablack. they have ah bengs, malays, trans, indians.. a wide variety. zouk and cb are mostly chinese populated and flooded with ns guys. the music was good tho the ventilation was bad, like rouge. really hot and smoky on the dance floor. but i kinda like it there. had a great time.
nothing could be more timely. reached home and i was strucked with the red dragon curse. hate it.

friday:
hmm.. ain't i suppose to be at work? but what the heck. jus pon loh.
had a gathering at tab's place in the afternoon. it's becoming a tradition. played black jack, bun luck (not by luck tab.) won a misly 3 bucks. but better than nothing.
went to andy's hse at night and the most hilarious thing happened.
everybody's gonna be there and so i brought a brand new bottle of baileys frm home so everyone could enjoy. how nice of me right. everybody was so excited to get a taste of it but andy's hse suay suay got no ice. so nvm. we put it in the freezer so we could chill it faster. meanwhile the guys started playing blackjack again. after 20 mins, dionne and i went to check on it. the bottle was cold already so we wanted to pour some out to try. opened the brand new bottle, took a whiff, smells good and all ready to drink. but when we poured, nothing came out of the bottle! what?! hmm.. dun tell me it's empty. cannot be what its a brand new bottle. we concluded tt it froze. in jus 20 mins? weird. nvm. let's try to defrost it. left it and came back another 20 mins later and it was still hard. impatient, we tried pouring hot water over the bottle and soon it started to dissolve into liquid again. we poured it into the glass. plop plop plop. it came out cream. like lao sai! hmm? what's happening? maybe haven defrost finish. we mixed the cream with water and then it looked like baileys and i tasted it. hmm.. doesnt really taste like baileys leh. cant really taste much alcohol. try again. plop plop plop. swirl the cup to mix the cream. aloysius tasted it." yuck! it tastes like sour rotten durians!" i tasted it. hmm.. yah it does. maybe we have to shake it. my father said i have to shake the bottle before drinking. so dionne and i stood in the kitchen and took turns shaking it vigorously. (my arms are aching after all tt shaking). plop plop plop. it still came out cream. dun care. jus mix it with water. after adding a glassful of water we stirred it to dilute the cream and then we saw what looks like residue. dionne started squirming. "yuck, i'm not gonna drink this!" something's really wrong. donovan took a closer look at it. "ewww. it looks like oat meal." after squinting and scratching our heads trying to figure out what's wrong for quite some time, donovan then suggested checking if there's an expiry date. "hmm, march first. but they din say which yr leh". i took a look at the bottle. best before: mar 01. i bust out laughing so hard. "march 2001 lah! it expired 4 yrs ago!"
imagine the uproar.
so much for baileys tt night. i felt so cheated.

new yrs eve 2005

2005-02-08T23:28:00.000+08:00

i'm not so excited bout this coming chinese new yr. i dun really like this holiday except frm collecting ang baos and the new clothes. other than tt it's usually really boring for me. visiting relatives, putting on a facade, try to smile and be polite. oh, and i eat a hell lot. i love new yr goodies. and it doesnt help when i have almost every new yr food item at home, frm kueh bangkit to bah guas to pineapple tarts to all sorts of nuts, jus to name a few. i'm sure to put on weight this new yr. and tt sucks.
was at the adidas fashion show at zouk last friday. it was great btw. slept at 5am sat morning and my mom made me wake up at 7am to go new yr goodies shopping with her.. she spent like almost 300 bucks on food alone. imagine how much food i have at home!

had half day at work today. thought i could go off at 12pm but no, could only leave at 1pm. met up with tab, lu, dionne and we took a trip down to little india. when we stepped out of the station, we were like the only few chinese ppl who came out of the train. kinda scary. and when you start walking along the shop houses, whooo. the aroma.. haha. tab was our tour guide for the day. she brought us some shop to thread our eyebrows so we can all look pretty this new yr. oooo.. painful it was. i teared. i've threaded my eyebrows before but i dun remember it to be this painful. there's always a price to pay for being beautiful..
little india's quite a nice place, really. i'll go back sometime to try the food there.. apparently there's some really good stuff there according to tab the tour guide..

oh, happy chinese new yr to one and all. and dun grow fat on new yr goodies!

fateful day at work

2005-02-04T23:24:00.000+08:00

hohoho.. it's been a hell long time since i last updated my blog. like since before A's ended? and tt's like 2 mths? a hell hell lot happened this 2 mths. the funnest time of my life.. and i din really blog it down. cos i was having jus too much fun to be bothered bout blogging. prom was more fun than i've expected, clubbing became a weekly affair, lunch became breakfast and supper, dinner, spending more money than what i've been earning, mostly on shopping. duh.

but now i'm back to boring life. have been working this past week. oh gosh. data entry.. boring shit stuff.it's only 4 days and i'm complaining. i have to work at least 2 mths! i'm still trying to get used to waking up early.. considering the fact tt i've been sleeping at 4am and waking up at noon almost everyday the past mth. but oh well.. at least i'm earning some money.

on the 3rd day of work tab and i screwed things up really bad. we spent the first 2 days of work typing down more than 2 thousand client names and numbers (we're working at an insurance company). on tt fateful 3rd-day-at-work morning, i had to accidentally sort the names cos i wanted to find a particular misplaced name. so anyways, to cut it short. i reshuffled all the names such tt the dates, client names and numbers didn't match.. and my stupid fingers spastically clicked save. and so there goes 2 days of work. jus like tt. and so we had to retype everything we did the past 2 days. tab, in order to help me out with it, accidentally deleted all her client nums and clicked save too. poor us. we had to go thru 2 thousand of it all over again. but this time we managed to complete it within a day. supervisor was impressed. haha. but we typed until we almost vomitted.
i was wondering if this bad luck had anything to do with what i saw this morning. was on the way to work, waiting at the junction to cross the rd. and i saw this indian man i always see at jurong point. super unkempt, bare footed, looks like the guiness world record religious man who rolled on the floor miles and miles to the temple kind. he was standing across me and i saw him adjusting his little peewee. i almost died. wanted to laugh but very retarded.
so much for this boring week. oh well, i'm taking my basic theory test tmr.. wish me luck!

promising future

2004-11-10T01:42:00.000+08:00

in the midst of my A's now. can't wait for it to be over. 2 more weeks and voila! i'm free! the smell of freedom is so good and it's getting stronger each day. i bet the taste of it would be heavenly.
did something really crazy on the day before my gp paper. was out the whole day since 1030 am to 11pm. went to town in the morning with my parents and sis cos my sis was to do some photoshoot with some modelling agency. spent bout 2 hrs at the star bucks at PS reading thru some gp notes. then left for malaysia at bout 3pm in the afternoon. main purpose: to cut hair. my father and i had a hair cut while my sis rebonded her hair and my mom curled hers. waited for a frigging 3 to 4 hrs for their hair to straighten and curl. it pays to be beautiful. had a great dinner at some pizza place( i love pizza). was kinda late by then and was urging my family to go home. but typical girls, my mom, sis and me included were attracted by the SALES signs. on our way home, we were caught in a traffic jam and it was only then tt i started to panick cos it was slightly over 10pm and i was suppose to be in bed sleeping and preparing for my all impt gp paper the next day. sheesh. but well, everything turned out fine. ok, not really. i couldn't wake up the next day and my father had to give me some 'energize' pills to perk me up and i mus say it actually worked. it was quite an experience tho.
i've no mood to study anymore. i only have the end in mind and what i'm gonna do: dye and highlight my hair, pierce more earholes, shop for prom, shop!, read the da vincci code and other books, soak in the bath tub, go for a tan, fix some jis saw puzzles, pack my untidy room, endless parties, movie tv vcd dvd marathon, get out of singapore, go for a holiday with my friends, learn something new (cooking? drums? aerobics?), draw and let my creative juices flow (not tt i have alot), go for a missions trip?, laugh till my stomach hurts or till i choke whichever comes first, play and slack and chill, go to the gym, do some sports, suana, lots and lots of sleep, get a job to finance my expenses and the list goes on and on...
how exciting!

farewell

2004-10-12T22:33:00.000+08:00

well well.. ok, maybe my life in sa wasnt as bad as i thought. it was fun to some extent.
'no one is here by chance'.. i often remind myself tt my life in sa has a purpose. maybe God jus hasn't revealed it to me yet.. maybe it isn't suppose to be as fun and enjoyable as i expected it to be.. maybe in this way i could concentrate on my studies more and get better results.. or maybe this journey in sa is to allow me to make friends with ppl who are gonna be impt to my life in the future, maybe the ppl i meet here and meant to be there to mould and shape my life to what i am today and maybe if i were some place else i would have turned out to be a totally different person.
one thing's for sure is tt my life in sa has really brought me out of my comfort zone of where i have been lingering so long all my life. it has opened up a whole different world where i get to meet all sort of ppl frm all different walks of life and experience things i've never experienced before. tho there were many uncomfortable and awkward situations i had to deal with, i guess i've learnt something new along the way.
today's farewell assembly was really meaningful. tho i think chapel could've been better. speeches were heart warming, videos were funny and full of wonderful memories, everybody relishing the nostalgia, and singing of the college song and hymn for the last time ( i still cannot fully remember the lyrics to the college song, i know i should be ashamed of myself). everything went perfectly well.. until my camera batt went flat!!! took pathetically few photos.
then the teacher's concert was hilarious and entertaining. seriously.. laugh till my stomach ached.
went to catch white chicks too. was really funny.. luana had werid bouts of laughter tt filled the silent theatre. like everybody stopped laughing already then her voice box spasm let out another laugh.. well it din exactly sound like a laugh. embarrassing? yeah... i sat next to her.......
it's a good relief frm all the stress tho. but its back to the books again tmr :(

update

2004-10-09T01:06:00.000+08:00

oooo.. it's been a long long time since i last blogged. have been pretty busy lately i guess, busy mugging. and really lazy..
let's see.. an update on what has been happening in my life lately:
-news headlines: new hangout (mug-out to be precise): coffee bean at holland v.
-my prelim results: C C D. disappointing.. really.. could have done better
-my hair's becoming thinner. maybe hair loss due to stress or could be me cutting and pulling out damaged hair. or maybe cos it's tortured by me, trying to pin it up and tie it in many different ways to relieve stress frm studying.
-trying to watch what i eat cos i'm living life like a pig now. eat sleep mug eat sleep mug. jus tt pigs dun mug.
-tried to exercise regularly by swimming every sun evening. but on my second visit. met some idiot tiko swimming coach who wanted to teach me how to swim, gave me his name card and asked for mine. pls! he's old enuh to be my father. like hit on somebody ur own age. have i grown and looked older? gosh! some middle-aged guy kept looking at me today. does my face look offensive to him or what. shu once told me the guys you attract reflect ur attractiveness. eewww. am i tt bad..
-the O.C's back. like yay!
-have been hooked on another serial ' one tree hill' on sat afternoons.
-been spending my allowance on notes and other colleges prelim papers. broke not cos of shopping but broke cos of buying notes! what's the world coming to..
-experiencing emotional rollercoasters. really high and happy one moment, sulking and irritated the next. feeling full of drive and confident one time then suddenly i'm tired and down and i-wish-this-world-will-end-soon and i-dun-wanna-study-anymore.
-been taking lotsa photos! for fun laughter peace and joy. i love taking photos, tho i dun really look good in them.
-my jc life has ended, kinda, except the a's. dunno if i feel happy or sad tho. i'm glad it is ending, has been a horrible 2 yrs for me. sad cos, i dunno.. maybe cos i'm suppose to?
-period's coming soon, i sense it. stay away or i might jus snap at you PERIOD.

liberated?

2004-09-17T01:57:00.000+08:00

yay! the prelims are finally over. time to rest, only for a few days. precious precious few days before the whole cycle starts again. feels weird now tt i have nothing to do.

i'm bored.

when i need to study i wanna do something else. now when i can do something else, i dunno what to do! i dun even know what to blog abt. there's jus too much to say.

i'm lazy.

went clubbing exactly a week ago. had a really great time dancing thru the night. i guess it did help release alot of hyped up emotions. feel like doing it again.

i'm itching.

had been going thru an emotional rollercoaster. it has been a tiring, boring and stressful journey this year. i hope it's ending soon.

i'm sick. i really am.

i need to laugh.

hobbies

2004-09-03T23:56:00.000+08:00

wow. it's been a long long long time sinced i walked and talked so much in a day. started out at cine, walked to lido and then all the way back to PS jus to find a suitable timeslot for the movie stepford's wife. i mus say it's not too bad a show but it's really disturbing. seriously. how ppl are obssessed with perfectness. but the plot's good. unique, but disturbing.

spent a hell lot jus this week alone. birthday presents, food, shopping.. yup shopping. been such a long time i last did it. bought a new top, earrings and 2 skirts for myself this week. felt so cheated when i saw the exact same pair of earrings at $1 when i bought mine for $4!! and i spent half an hr at a shop choosing which earrings to buy but only to leave empty handed. went to carrefour with the main purpose of getting a drink for thirsty me.we walked ard checking out the nutritional contents in packets of drinks n nuts, trying to apply what we learn in food chemistry with quite a bit of failure. but we ended up leaving with only a packet of almond nuts instead and filled my bottle with free ice mountain water.this guy's eyes almost poped out when he saw me doing it. haha

walked the whole of PS, far east, zara, mango, topshop.. east to west and north to south of town. it's really amazing where i got the energy frm cos i only ate breakfast and shopped my lunch away till dinner. but i guess shopping jus gives me energy. it's some sort of a motivation. it makes me feel good. yeah, i'm a shoppaholic.

found out how much shu and i have in common. we love eating yogurt, cheese cakes, nuts, pizza and pasta, nooch, thai express and SUBWAY. yup, subway's the in thing my food menu. it's healthy and so ma-ma-me-ah-ly delicious. i'll be craving for it for quite a while. well, this is how my mouth works: when my tastebuds like the taste of something, they'll crave for it constantly for sometime until they get sick and tired of it. then they'll stop consuming tt food for some period of time after tt. weird huh. for now, i'm craving for sakae sushi, the thai balachan fried rice frm nooch and dover chicken rice. bad news is tt my craving wont go away until i satisfy them. this is how my mouth works. hmm...
why do i feel so fat and broke?

desire

2004-08-27T23:24:00.000+08:00

things are more laid back and relaxed now tt prelims have started. yup. i somehow dun feel so tt stressed anymore.

a week before, i felt so completely lost and deranged, like i couldn't feel anything ard me and everything was like a bur and i was lost in my own world with definitions and equations and numbers and concepts. i was in constant reverie for some reason or another. probably studying had drained me out mentally and emotionally. physically? not so much, cos i've been sleeping late and waking early but not feeling so very tired. but constantly in a daze. i lost my appetite too, feeling so dry and worn out, but pushing myself to study not cos i want to but cos i have to. even my dreams were revolved ard work and studies. how horrible is tt.

i've begun to loosen up a little. not sure why. maybe the past papers i took made me feel so helpless tt i decided tt even if i studied or not it'll not be of much use. i'm aiming for the long run, tt's the 'A's and i'm not going to let a stupid exam like the prelims put me down. i do hope i'm not comforting myself.

caught Notebook yesterday. it was one of the best shows i've watched this yr. but guess its the kind only a girl would appreciate. it's a story of passionate and comsuming love. true love, i would call it. i can't seem to get the movie off my mind, at least i dun want to. keep thinking how wonderful it would be if i could experience love like tt. the movie was so anticipating tt i didn't want it to ever end. and when it did, it was like a big tight slap back to reality.

tho' the story's oh-so-sweet, i think it's done more damage in my life then it does good. it paints too idealistic a picture of love. it succintly summarises what i've been longing for all this while. but it makes me feel worse and emptier after tt because it accentuates the fact tt something is lacking in my life.

will it make me strive for perfection instead of following my heart?

will i overlook what is meant and made specially for me jus because i hold on too tightly to this idealistic view of love?

"this is why dreams can be such dangerous things: they smolder on like a fire does, and sometimes consume us completely."- memoirs of a geisha by aurther golden. ( a book i'm currently reading now )

happy birthday to me!

2004-08-14T00:42:00.000+08:00

today's a special day. a really really special day. *glow*. i'm in a great mood, feeling very happy. yup.
I'VE JUST TURNED 18!
how cool's tt. haha. i've been waiting for this day all my life. 18. *smile*.
dang it! i can't sneak into clubs anymore. *grin*
tho' i'm feeling a little disappointed, everything else sweet and nice makes up for it.
#1. i can laugh at my friends who are still 17
#2. i'll be graduating soon, getting out of miserable sajc
#3. i am legal.... =)
#4. i get presents, cards, cakes, hugs and kisses
#5. i'm able to spend time with the ppl i love
#6. i've a reason to give myself a break from studying
#7. i'll be getting a digital camera frm my parents
#8. i jus might grow taller
#9. there's jus something for me to smile about
#10. i'm out of love
#11. i get to do things my way
#12. i can dye my hair soon
#13. i'm still never too old to watch cartoons
#14. i'm beginning to feel like a lady (hah)
#15. i'm loved and cared for
#16. i've dreams to travel the world; my dream destination:egypt
#17. my wishes will come true, one day, hopefully
#18. i'm 18!

reverie

2004-08-09T00:25:00.000+08:00

funny how coincidental tt 2 days in a row i hear sermons abt marriage and divorce. one was at mr chia's wedding and today at church. it stuck me really hard tt finding a christian life-partner is very, extremely impt.
and having a partner would really require alot of commitment, trust, understanding, sacrifice and of cos love. i guess i never truly loved a special someone. i thought i did. i never knew what it was to give and take in a relationship or what the other aspects tt came along with being attached are. in the beginning, i was naive, selfish and always wanted things my way. i did not want to give my all and still couldn't part with living a single's life. but as time went on, i learnt many painful lessons. i've come to realise tt the only reason i did not wanna let go was because i was afraid him i would not be able live without, the emptiness after tt and not because i loved. a clearer picture i have now of what i truly want and am looking for.
now, i can only dream bout walking down the aisle and having someone whom i can share my life with. well, and i bet the feeling would be really wonderful.

simplicity

2004-08-07T00:11:00.000+08:00

life can be so irritating boring now tt prelims are jus round the corner. all you do is study, mug and study more. it's jus you and the books. it makes you really treasure the little time off tt you get to enjoy cos it's really little.
met tab today at jp jus to do a little last min shopping. and when i say last min it's really last min. we met at 9.10 when the shops were closing at 10. we practically brisk walked, ran and skipped, yes skipped.. our way thru the shopping mall to get tab some clothes for mr chia's wedding tmr. but we had fun, laughing and enjoying the little pleasures in life, amusing ourselves.
tt's what makes life fun and worthwhile, enjoying jus plain simple pleasures in life: sunbathing by the seaside, winding down with a good book and coffee, gazing at the stars at night, enjoying the scenery by the roadside, catching a glimpse of the sun rise, chilling out in the bathtub, having a good night's rest with sweet dreams.
we're so absorbed in our own world of work and studies at times, we are too busy to even notice the simple yet beautiful things ard us. even our form of leisure and entertainment is so commerciallised.
it's such a shame.

revenge is sweet

2004-07-31T00:57:00.000+08:00

forgive and forget
it's one of the greatest virtues one can ever possess.
thing is sometimes you forgive, but you can't forget. but truth is, you haven't fully forgiven if you can't forget it.
it so difficult sometimes when i wanna put everything behind and move on and be nice. but i some things jus cloud my mind. the hurt, pain, tears, sleepless nights, emotional damage so bad, and the ppl who caused them. it burns inside, it makes me angry, fills me with disgust and detest. and it wouldn't go away.
perhaps, i dun wanna let it go.

forget past hurts and reach forward to love.
don't lose faith in love.

weirdos

2004-07-24T01:55:00.002+08:00

an unproductive day but a really interesting one too.met 2 really weird guys who are so not shy. they dun seem to know the art of looking discretely. they stare. and when i say stare, they really stare. they do it really weirdly and it makes you wanna laugh but you cant cos they're staring at you. frm the corner of ur eyes you know they are watching. you wanna make them stop but you dunno what to do. you continue doing ur work and talking to ur friend, acting like they're not there. you feel so awkward cos ur every movement is being watched and the damn mirror in front of you is not making things any easier. you try so hard to concerntrate on figuring out what is the sample mean and 95% confidence interval for the population parameter p but it's so difficult cos it's so distracting.you go down to buy a hersey's sundae pie for ur friend and urself. while standing in the queue, you heave a sigh of relieve, at least you managed to get away frm them for a while. before you know it, one of them came down too and stood almost next to you. right. freak. crap. apparently he was queueing too, in ur queue, next to you. hmmm. you try hard to pretend he's not there but it's not easy. it's so ueasy. after buying the pie, you rushed back up.you and ur friend are whispering, writing notes and making eyes at each other, wondering when will they ever leave. but they dun. happily she leaves for the toilet, leaving you alone with them maniacs. you try to act like you're doing something when suddenly you hear sounds frm the table next to you. 'hi' 'hello' 'hi'. you ignore the noises and pretend you didn't hear anything. but they're doing it so weirdly it makes you wanna laugh. but you can't. you turn to look at them, wanting to give them and really hard stare, hoping they'll stop. but it's so difficult to control ur laughter, you can't keep a straight face. fortunately they stopped after you looked at them.when you and ur friend started to pack up to get ready to go off, they finally decided to leave. 'yay',you thought. they're finally gone. after stepping out onto the streets, you and ur friend couldn't decide to go left or right. look left, look right, look left. gosh. out popped tt same 2 guys frm behind the pillar. you immediately decided to go right. freaked out, you and ur friend walked briskly away, crossing ur fingers they won't follow or stalk. you wanna check if they're behind. but you can't, you've to look straight ahead. after a walking a distance after turning a corner, you couldn't take it and gave a quick turn. jus then, you saw them turn the corner, walking in ur direction. all you wanna do at tt moment is jus run. but you can't. you continue to walk straight down the street into the crowd and into a coffee place. you take refuge there for a while, constantly checking if they're anywhere ard. you felt really silly doing this.when the coast was clear, you and ur friend left the coffee place cautiously, praying hard they dun pop up again frm somewhere and started walking to the bus stop to get home. you dun see them anywhere, but you're alert. paranoia starts to set in when you see guys wearing a blue tee on the streets. but finally you both managed to shake them off and are able to go home peacefully.

ryan

2004-07-22T11:39:00.000+08:00

there's something bout the character ryan atwood from The O.C played by benjamin mckenzie. he's deep, mysterious and so matured. he's like the 'bad' guy who gets into alot of trouble but yet he takes responsibility for his actions. he's not very cute and all tt, not someone i would drool over. but there's something about him tt i find very attractive and it makes me feel all ticklish inside.
think i got a crush on him.

rants

2004-07-20T22:32:00.000+08:00

i feeling so empty inside. feels like there's no purpose in my life now except study for a's, which i haven been doing much of. there's like practically nothing to look forward to everytime i wake up in the morning. except meal time. i feel like a pig. eat, sleep and watch tv. my mouth can never stop munching on something. greed. for food. my downfall, one day. sometimes i wish i could jus vanish frm this earth and go to a place a thousand times greater i know is installed for me (irrelevant, i know)
saw a crushed dead burnt snail today, with a cigarette bud stuck on it. suspected some evil, cruel and mean person must've tortured it. how can someone like this even exist in the world. disgust.
ever wondered how ppl who dun believe there's a God in this world pass their lives? they dun even know what their purpose in this life is. jus eat, sleep and be merry? i think tt's very sad. they dunno what they're living for or have anything to look forward to. a little like me now. but far worse?
lu and i used to joke tt maybe we both need a fling. haha. i had a fling-ish encounter not too long ago (tgftc). wasn't intended. not proud of it either. had used to always wanted my first to be the last though.
sheesh. i think i talk to myself too much sometimes. talk too much rubbish, think bout too much unnecessary stuff. till it makes me feel stressed and worned out. mentally. (maybe physically too cos i've been sleeping alot lately). tt's what boredom can do to you. human degradation.

reminising again

2004-07-18T02:20:00.000+08:00

was playing ard with my hockey stick today, dribbling and hitting an imaginary ball when my mom suddenly came into the rm and stood there watching me. when i saw her i got a shocked and was rather embarrassed. "chey" she said, "i thought you were sweeping the floor." thanx. me? sweeping the floor? i hardly do any housework.
it's been such a long time since i last touched my hockey stick, which was since the last match with tampines junior college. we won 2-0 tt game. was our last game in the nationals. couldn't advance into the semis which we worked and aimed so hard for. ironically the game tt crushed our hopes was the one against pioneer junior college in which my good friend, tabitha scored one goal against us during one of pj's short corner. rememebered the whole team cried terribly after tt.
ultimately it was the good ol' memories tt stayed. the countless saturday afternoon trainings when the sun was scorching hot. the late night trainings which end at 9pm or 10pm at ccab. the dreadful 8x400m stridings we had to do. the sickening mosy-boys (mr danker's way of calling mosquitoes) which happily sucked our bloods while we trained. the ice-kachang sessions after almost every training (adam rd's the best). the monthly birthday celebrations with delicious cakes and cards. the knocking of the fists and "semis" ard sch. the gossip, laughing, teasing and of cos, eating sessions.
am so glad i was part of such a wonderful hockey team.

memories

2004-07-17T02:15:00.000+08:00

met up with my lovely girlfriends today. had such a great time laughing and posing for photos. love them to bits. missed them so much after we all split after sec sch. we made alot of noise, laughing hysterically and talking loudly, as usual. but we dun care. what matters most is tt we have fun and enjoy ourselves. we had lotsa embarrassing moments and numerous good memories and more to come..
organiser weilin's mispronunciation of 'no-nember' (november) and 'gigi-cam' (digi-cam). blur sotong tab always talking to herself, nobody really understands what she says + laugh and talk loud and high pitch vanessa = world's greatest shopping partners. magician robyn's hysteric laughter. feirce dionne's whines. steph's low level of amusement. know-all-songs-played-on-perfect10 eunice's vibrating laughter + sexy luana (always teasing her to seduce guys so we can get free drinks) = nonstop laughing in their own world. how we're always getting high on bk coke, concluding tt they spike the drinks. try to surprise one another on each of our birthdays, which always end up a failure, cos we always plan suprises till it's no longer a surprise. how we often draw so much attention to ourselves unintentionally cos we laugh so loud and start whacking each other till our stomach ache like crazy or try to take whacky photos (but most of the time it ends up such tt we jus smile at the cam cos we couldn't come up with a nice pose). wonderful memories.
we used to be able to do tt everyday in sec sch. but now it's only once in a while tt we get to meet up and do crazy things again. i feel so deprived of their company. now the 8 of us have grown to a whopping 13 in strength because of the other halves. leaving only luana, eunice and me,single. (even weilin's attached, yes weilin, the love cynic) was really nice everybody could get along and have fun together. feels so much like a big family. imagine how difficult it will be to plan for events next time. we couldn't even decide on when we wanted the one night hotel stay, and we were talking abt going for cruise and bangkok to do shopping. doubt any of tt will be fulfilled in the near future. but we definitely won't stop meeting up with each other. gonna meet them soon again. =) yay.

bleak

2004-07-13T02:09:00.000+08:00

that guy frm the club (tgftc): want to apologise for what i did.. i seek ur forgiveness. there is no excuse for what i did. i'm sorry.
me: oh well, it's ok.. let's jus forget abt it..

forget abt it?!? can i? so many questions i wanna ask but i guess some doubts are better left unanswered. can't believe i was so naive. always the victim of stupid games ppl play. do i regret what happened? can't, i chose to live a life without regrets. well, what did i learn? lots!
though jc life has been an dreadful, unpleasent and painful journey for me (it still is). my mindset and thoughts have reached a new level of maturity (at least tt's what i think), esp in the area where my heart and feelings are concerned. i realised i know much better what i'm looking for and what i want, in a guy tt is. other then tt, my future is still bleak. i dunno what i want in life. sad.
i'm jus gonna leave everything in God's hands and take things one step at a time. trust him and he will guide me thruout life's journey.
my fav hymn..

I don't know about tomorrow
I just live from day to day
I don't borrow from its sunshine
For its skies may turn to gray
I don't worry over my future
For I know what Jesus said
And today He walks beside me
For He knows what lies ahead
Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand

gloom

2004-07-11T01:24:00.000+08:00

what a lazy day. feeling moody. think my period's coming. tt sucks. hate it. today's one of those day when i feel oh-so fat and ugly.
realised how much i enjoy being in the shower as mush as being on my bed under the covers. spend an avg of an hr in there everyday. it has also somehow become my place of refuge. where i feel so free, and naked, in more ways than one. it's the time where i reflect on my life. i'm a deep thinker. a place where i found answers to my doubts and questions (by talking and reasoning with myself, that is), where i drown my sorrows and tears with the water coming out of the showerhead, where i celebrate and express my joy by singing and dancing 'in the rain'. a place where i dun have to bother bout anything cos i'm all alone. someplace tt makes me feel good bout myself. where i hide away from all my fears and run away from all my troubles. except for the fear of insects which i can't hide frm cos sometimes a peeping-tom of a lizard or some fly or catapillar would join me for a bath.
bad thing is sometimes i come out feeling worse. i think too much. i know i should stop but i jus cant help it. i feel empty. issit cos someone's missing in my life? no, it can't be. it feels too good being single.

motivated

2004-07-10T13:31:00.000+08:00

have been wanting to have a personal diary for a really long time. been procrastinating till now. had one some time ago. but it kinda disappeared? din update it and stuff.. jus ended bt 2. studying for it really sucked. was so glad it's over but realised its jus the beginning. friends jus tell me its jus a phase. jus study hard. blah.. looking forward to really getting over with the A's. then it'll be party time!
it's jus a few mths more. time jus whizzed by so so so quickly this yr. it's good and it's bad. good cos i can get over and done with A's quick, bad cos i'm not finished with enjoying being 17. though i dun really like the age cos it's in the middle of nowhere. but its the thrill of it all cos i can't get into clubs legally, i've to smuggle myself in. i can't watch m-18 movies. i can't drive. i can't buy alcohol from cold storage. i'm stuck with A's. it's such a wonder what A's can do to a person's mind. it drives you crazy. you think abt it all the time. it makes you feel guilty if you dun touch ur books for a day. you can't ever fully enjoy urself till the day you finish ur last paper. what a torture.
college day today. turned green with envy as i watched those book prize winners and graduates who scored 3 distinctions and more get crappy shiny medals with their big fat name on it which will turn dusty and rusty one day. told myself i'll be back next yr to get one of those will-turn-dusty-and-rusty crappy shiny medals for myself.